What To Do When the One You Love Stops Loving You Back.

The four things heartbreak taught me about love.

I remember finally falling in love. For real this time! I imagined that all my challenging relationships had resulted in leading me to this one true incredible lifetime love.

Or NOT.

I tried so hard that it became this constant reach. Then one day I realized the tighter I began to grasp for the return of my soul mate the more elusive this love became. I believe in love. Totally. Fully. Just not in the way those damn princess movies taught us.

1. Life Isn’t Fair. Choose Love Anyway.

Here is how this works people. Life hurts. It isn’t meant to be easy. Relationships trigger all of our deep-seated crap and we either have to look at it or run. That’s the point. Much like a light shining in a dark room, the dirt and clutter is exposed and so are we. So exhale, be thankful for the experience, and start cleaning out the junk.

2)  You don’t need to plan your life. Just take your next best step.

Have you imagined a big white dress and your “complete me’ waiting for you at the end of a long aisle? Have you planned for that one-day and one kiss that would change your life? Yea? Well stop it! Guess what? That day isn’t going to make you happy. Life doesn’t stop and turn into a romance novel when the veil lifts. Nope. The only veil that truly lifts is when the catering bill comes and life starts.

Clue. We have no idea what the future holds. So jump in with both feet today. Not because you are manipulating for a better tomorrow but because this moment is all you have. Not when it feels safe. Not when it is easy. Right now.

3) It is all an illusion so don’t forget to laugh while falling down the rabbit hole.

We aren’t in the other person’s shoes. And as much as you don’t want to hear this. Returned love from our partner has very little to do with us and everything to do their perception of us. Your other half loves their idea of you and how you make them feel. Not based on what you do or who you are. Based on who they THINK you are. So love anyway. Not because you want them to love you back because it eases your own spirit and opens your heart.

4) Unconditional love exists. Just not in the places you are looking.

Unconditional love is in us. Love is who we are. Where we began, where we will return, and in the honoring we do of our own heart in between. In other words, we can never really fall out of love. Choose gratitude for every-thing not some-thing. Want to know where to find the one person you can ask to ALWAYS love you back? Yep, you guessed it. YOU.

What does all this mean? Choose beautiful, sloppy, happy, sad, messy love every chance you get. Why? Because that is what ecstasy is made of. Enjoy.